Monday, February 1, 2010

Blog #8-from myspace.com (11/30/2005)

Wednesday Novmber 30, 2005

Current mood: apathetic

Funny how someone tricks the mind to believe what they want to believe in - despite the obvious. Some might say that it makes you a fool to do this, but doesn't everyone do this in their own way?

I guess for me, it's nice to understand that my mind is tricking me right off the bat. There is no substitute for what I am missing and upset about. . and those who appear to me suddenly as angels have their wings torn and tattered, or are not wearing them at all.

I'm just glad to have had an experience so painful that my inner radar overrides my mental desire to want to believe something/someone who isn't who they say they are. Sure, you get disappointed at first but then you smile, shake your head, and say "i should've known" and then you also realize that it never was comparable to the real thing.

Maybe I should give thanks to these angels. Maybe they have given me the gift of narcissism or cynicism and I should give praise.

Whatever gift I give them, it certainly won't be as great as the gift they will get back, free of charge, for not being true. That is the best present I can ask for them to get.

To those true angels, and you know who you are (jhc, skb, mlw, prp, dwwp, and db) i thank you and wrap you up in the energy of the universe. You may not believe but you will be taken care of.

For the others - I'm no fool. I may act naive, but when you come to think about it, maybe I'm playing you? My angel wings might be tattered or missing but then again, it may not be worth the Universal payback.

Just know that I know the truth.

l_l

No comments: