Monday, December 12, 2005
 | Current mood:  tired Any chronic insomniacs out there? If so, and you're not peacefully in dreamland, my condolences. I have had insomnia since the early 90's and it's getting to the point where it's starting to be a real problem. I wonder if there is such a thing as Sleepers Anonymous? I know why I am an insomniac, I use sleep much the same way as a drug addict uses drugs. . to escape reality. If the sun's up, I can sleep but when it's dark, forget it. I've tried everything. . sleep labs, sleep rules, etc. etc. and I always end up falling back down into the bad sleep patterns. Also, when something goes wrong in my day or I am emotionally upset, what do I do? sleep, sleep, and sleep some more. That's the truest form of denial, folks. To be truthful, I am also fairly (ok, straight up) addicted to dr. prescribed sleeping pills. Ambien is my choice and for years 5 mg would knock my socks off. . but now, I can take up to 25 mg and will be awake for hours after that. So, I have branched out into augmenting that with Benadryl, Nyquil, etc. . Every day I get up and say "I'm not going to sleep at all during the day today" and more times than not, I end up napping. Obviously, no sleep that night when that happens. I've tried just sucking it up and not taking a pill and I'm still awake when my alarm goes off in the AM. It's hard enough to be cheery in the AM hours, but worse when you're brain dead from lack of sleep. Plus, my job does require me to be a bit mentally with it (i'm a programmer) so it's another thing that needs a good night's sleep to work well. I wonder if there are re-hab places for bad sleepers like me. . who don't let you sleep during the day (do they slap you with a stick or give you an electric shock when you start heading off to dreamland) but establish good sleeping habits?? Probably not. I guess the difference between myself and an addict is that I do need sleep at some level, just not in the manner I have been using as of late. Did you know there is a greek God, Hypnos, who supposedly would put his people to sleep by either tapping their eyes 3 times with his finger tips or by fanning his dark wings against their faces. He had 3 sons (I can only remember one's name - Morpheus) and they were responsible for taking you into dreamland, thus freeing your soul for astral travel elsewhere. For all of you out there w/ insomnia, I wrap you in energy full of sweet dreams and restorative sleep. As for me, let's just say, I chant many a prayer to Hypnos... :) |
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