Saturday, November 19, 2005

Game Face Current mood: angry My mom always says i put on my 'game face'. . if you know me at all, you'll know what that is. Everyone, at work, school, where ever, always says "you're the most cheerful person i've ever met". HAH! What a fucking joke. My mom knows me so well. . my game face is my cheerful self, but have you ever met the real me? Probably not, unless you're in my inner-circle. . i'm a cynical, depressed, angry person. For those of you who have been my 'best friend', you knew exactly what i meant when i said i couldn't see you anymore because i can't keep my game face on. . but you had to push that & encourage me to be there, and that is why you got clocked in the face by me. I'm not sorry about it. . you're a real prick. So, meet the real me. . i'm mad about things, sad about things, and not very happy at all. . but i have this pressure to be the 'perfect girl' that everyone always thinks I am and put my game face on. I"m tired of it. I see people from school and they always say "you were always so nice and friendly", yeah but did you know what I said when you weren't there? I'm not what you think i am. I don't deserve a lot of things that I have. . and I know it. . I take partial blame for that, but also blame the sycophants that have sucked every bit of life out of me. . you all suck. I rid myself of you all. . and it's saved me. I'm so confused lately and things just keep getting thrown my way and I can't figure out why these things are coming to me. Why am I being constantly tested? I think I must've pissed someone off really bad in another life. So, think i'm a bitch, think i'm nice, i really don't care what you think.. as long as it's the truth. l_l